My Future Bumper Sticker

MY KID IS CRAFTIER THAN YOURS

Every time I finish a roll of paper towels or gift wrap I toss the cardboard tube to whichever kid is nearest and say, "Have a blast!" For some reason, Peyton is usually the closest one, and his eyes always light up as that tube comes flying toward him. Fortunately, he's a professional sharer by this point in his 5-year-old life, so if Ella wants to play, he usually offers to cut the tube in half.

That sharing part really has nothing to do with the story. It's just me bragging.

So I throw a gift wrap tube at Peyton. His eyes light up with glee as he catches it. He shouts through it for a few minutes and then peers through the hole, "I see you, Mommy!" Then he gets this serious look on his face.

"Mommy. I have an idea. I think I want to make this into a snake. I want to paint it with stripes. We could make a head with a ball and draw a face. And I want it to have a tail that rattles."

See that? He's crafty! I knew it! More proof that he IS my son! I mean, I know I gave birth to him and all, but this really seals the deal. He's drawn snakes before, but that he wanted to create a snake with sound effects? That is some bad-ass craftiness. He's always liked crafts, but the more involved crafts we've done in the past have always been at my suggestion. The only crafts he does on his own are the paper, scissors, crayon, markers, hole punch, glue, one-dimensional kind. So I was really impressed with this whole 3-D snake idea.

I disrobed another gift wrap tube so that Ella could make her own snake. They chose their paint colors and we got to crafting. We even rigged some popcorn kernels inside to make the rattle sound.

Peyton wanted to bring his other snake, named Wilson, into the picture, too. My mom (hi Mom!) got him that snake and he loves it. The new snake Peyton named Snakey. Peyton decided on a white face (he was tired of letting paint dry) with drawn-on eyes and mouth. Check out Snakey's black stripes! Peyton did that all by himself!

Here's Miss Ella with her snake, also named Snakey. She likes pink paint and wiggly eyes.

And then, *shiver* the fun pretend snake thing got ugly.

Peyton: "We should get a real snake. I love snakes. They're my favorite aminal." (Yes, he said aminal - so cute!)

James: "I don't think Mommy likes this idea. She's scared of snakes."

Me (laying down the freakin' law on this one): "I am not scared of snakes. But we will NEVER have a snake as a pet."

Peyton: "I want a snake that climbs all over me. Like the kind that lady brought to school. I think I'll only get it out on Fridays and Sundays when Mommy's at the store."

And then he wanted me to take a picture of him with a snake "crawling all over" him.

Ummmm, yeah.

Hey, Mom, thanks for buying Peyton his first stuffed "aminal" snake. When he decides to become a Snake Charmer instead of attending college it's on you. And the snake lady that came to his class. Not me, though. No way. I'm just in charge of the crafting.