It's Puzzle Time!

( Did you hear Moose A. Moose's voice in your head when you read the title?  *sigh*  )

We finally have a place to call home! We just moved into our own little 2-bedroom apartment. The plan is to hang out here for about a year until we find can a city and a home that we really love and want to stay for a good long while.

So, yeah, that's 4 people in a 2-bedroom. Here's the deal with that: We thought it would help us save some money while we find our perfect place. And, truthfully, the kids want to share a room. They've been talking about it for a long time. During last school year, Peyton and Ella would look forward to every weekend because it meant we would let them sleep in the same room. They LOVED it! It was like some crazy special treat that they made up all on their own. So we might as well take advantage of that craziness before they're older and wiser.

Right now, I'm in the middle of a supreme organizational challenge. In Iowa we had a 3-bedroom house with a basement and a 2-car garage. Now we have a 2-bedroom apartment and a 1-car garage-ish space. I keep my sanity by calling it an adventure. And really, I love my little family so much, where we live doesn't really matter. My family makes this apartment a home. A tiny, happy home.

So, let the organizational puzzle work begin! It will be interesting to see how I pull it off. I'm pretty confident that I can. Although, some positive, organizing thoughts sent my way couldn't hurt!

In the meantime...

I was making a list for the grocery store yesterday. Peyton came over, took the list and pen out of my hands, wrote something on the list, and then handed it back. And because of what he wrote, I had to start a whole new list just so I could keep the original one forever and ever and ever.

And . . .  my heart just melted.

On Defending One's Family

If you've read my blog for more than a day and a half, you probably have at least a small idea of how I feel about bugs. To recap: I kind of hate them.

And you know the kind I really hate, right? Yeah....That would be the buzzing kind. I feel as though I've covered this in great detail in past posts.

And now I will delve into what is terrifying me at this very moment. Causing my heart to race, my skin to feel hot and shivery and prickly, my head to feel tight. It's what's causing me to glance up from my computer every 3.5 seconds to ensure that I am not being stalked. It is what is under this box.

See that box? Under that box is some sort of EXTREMELY LARGE buzzing flying insect. I don't know what kind exactly.

What I do know:

1. It's stupid.

I know this because as I was relaxing on the couch, reading Stephen King's On Writing, I heard a VERY LOUD buzzing sound. Since the window in the living room was open, I assumed it must be large bumblebee or something on the other side of the screen. I tend to jump to these kinds of conclusions because they help me keep my sanity.

When I glanced up from my book, you know - just to be sure, I saw a black blob of doom with wings fall to the floor NOT 10 FEET from where I was trying to relax. Bastard! It landed on its back and it was all black and shiny green underneath and it started to shimmy the way really stupid flying beetles are apt to do when they can't turn over. Because they are so stupid.

2. It's probably dead.

I grabbed the closest large object I could find, the Lego box, and laid it on top of the writhing, buzzing horror. But the box was empty. Nowhere near heavy enough to squash a bug dead. The box started to move around with a scratching sound as the thing underneath was trying to claw its way out.

I would have smashed the box and all that survived underneath it with the child's guitar that was nearby (can you picture it? classic.), but both the empty Lego box and guitar belong to our little cousin, Jack. Whose house we are staying in at the moment. Because we are homeless rock stars who just moved back from Iowa. We have been rotating around our family's homes since we got here a month ago. We feel like rock stars because we have a wonderful extended family who missed us and are so glad to have us back that they are each willing to put us up for a week or two while we find our footing. Thank you, family! We love you so much!

However, there is a small possibility that all that good will might come to a screeching halt if I start smashing up their stuff.

So, instead, I carefully loaded some very heavy books into the box through the side opening and pressed down.

And then I pressed some more.

And I slowly backed away and hoped that the thing was dead. As I stared at that box for signs of life, I knew that I needed to have some closure. Because that box would torture me for the rest of the day if I didn't (Is that thing still alive? Is it crawling out to get me?). And, also, because I fancy myself a little bit of a bad-ass.

3. If my children even come this close to accidentally moving that box I will freak out and they will be in the Naughty Corner until the end of time.

As I see it, that box is basically keeping us alive. But it doesn't matter, because Peyton and Ella are busy sorting Jack's Star Wars Lego people. For fun. They are totally my kids.

They are blissfully unaware of our situation. That is really, really good. When I see a scary bug I am able to scream on the inside. Peyton and Ella do not have that ability. Flying bugs elicit screams from my children that rival the screams of stupid people in slasher films. Also, the other day Ella discovered the teeniest, tiniest little spider ever in the history of the world on a stuffed animal and she cried about it for the next 30 minutes.

What I don't know:

1. How did it get in the house?

2. How long has it been in the house?

3. Did it already slither into my ear and lay its eggs while I slept?

4. What was that noise just now????

5. Did the box just move while I wasn't looking at it????

6. Am I going to be able to get up the courage to look underneath that damn box? For the safety of my family?

Yes. I am. But first I needed to call my mom. Because she's not afraid of bugs. She actually thinks they're beneficial. My mom's really smart about most things and I love her more than anything but on this issue she's CRAZY. So I call her so that she can talk me through this. Also, she'll know to alert the authorities should something happens to me while I'm defending my family,.

My mom doesn't answer her phone. Super awesome, Mom.

Plan B: "Kids! Come here for a second! Okay, you see that box? There's a really big bug under there. I think it's dead, but I have to check it out. Wanna watch?"

"Yeah!"

See that? That is some Parent of the Year crap right there. I use my kids to make me brave. I make it a game: Watch Mommy Slay the Beast.

I don the appropriate bug-buster safety gear (the kind that covers my whole body so that nothing can land on my skin), grab my weapon of choice (Real Simple magazine because it's super heavy), and I let Peyton take a picture of my attack face:

And I lift up the box and Peyton says, "Woa! That is humongous! Disgusting!"

See that? Confirmation from a 6-year-old. I'll take it.

Then he decides to measure it (Brave boy! When did that happen? Probably when he realized the bug wasn't really moving):























I scoop it up and take it outside. I am feeling pretty brave myself.

And then Peyton says, "Mommy, I'm proud of you for doing that."

What can I say?

I can't really say much as I'm too busy puffy-painting "H E R O" on a t-shirt for myself.

Piggy Bank Classroom Kit

Little Ava is one lucky girl! Her mom is going to make a Piggy Bank for each of the party guests who come to her birthday party. 

Mom is going to set them out as decorations and then the little party-goers get to take them home as party favors. I think that the Piggy party decorations will be super cute, but I forgot to warn her that when piggies get together Them Piggies Is Crazy! 

Since mom is making all the piggies herself before the party, we decided that a Classroom Kit would be the perfect match. All of the crafting supplies, none of the prepping or shopping or organizing hassle. Pure crafting fun!

All the supplies are labeled and sweetly packaged (look at all those white styrofoam piggy legs waiting to be painted the perfect piggy pink!):

In a super cute reusable box:

With a birthday message that can be used as a table topper or birthday card:

It's party time made simpler!

Banking 101

There is a fort made of chairs and blankets and such.

Inside the fort is The Bank complete with a banker (me) and a bank president (Peyton). Outside the fort is a customer (Ella).

Before I can play Bank I must understand the very complicated way in which the bank operates. It's pretty similar to a regular bank. If that regular bank was operated by very strange and imaginative children who enjoy cheese suckers. I don't even know what those are.

Bank President: "Ella's going to put some money down through here and you're going to try to catch it in the tub."

Bank President: "But when she's done, she's going to put her card inside here. Ella! Not yet!"

Customer: "I didn't!"

Bank President: "Yes you did! And Ella's going to put her card through here when she's done. And she's going to push it over. And then at the end, and she doesn't have any money on it, and you're going to put money on it. And then you're going to give it to me and I'm going to put money on it. And I'll give it to you and you push it back through."

Banker: "Okay. And then she's going to take it?"

Bank President: "Yes."

Banker: "And why is there pee-pee in here?"

Bank President: "Because we have a dog."

Banker: "It's not potty trained yet?"

Bank President: "Umm... No."

Banker: "And why is there a dog in the bank?"

Bank President: "I don't know. Because he's awake all night and he sleeps at day so he's sleeping right now. Because when robbers come out, they usually come out at night. So he'll bark at them and he'll bite them when they try to get money."

Because my kids like to play Puppy they've made a whole set of Pretend-Play Puppy Essentials. They've created throw-up, poop and pee. I bet you can figure out which is which. I'll give you a hint: The throw-up has carrots and puppy food in it.

You are so welcome.

Bank President: "All right, Ella! Now, Mommy, remember, you're going to try to catch it."

Customer: "Wait Mommy! One more thing. Umm... You have to tell me how much I need to do."

Bank President: "Yes. How much buttons she has to pay. But don't say all of it."

Banker: "Okay."

Bank President: "But when she's done doing all the numbers that's done. When she's done putting all the buttons in there, you're going to have to dump it out to me and then I'll put it in the deposit for her."

Banker: "And that will go on her card?"

Bank President: "I'll put it in the computer and then some will go on the computer and when I slide her card, some will go on it."

Banker: "I'll take 5 buttons please."

Customer: "Okay! 1, 2, 3..."

Bank President: "Oh, also, Mommy, you can ask her if she wants a sucker, but she can only have a rainbow colored one."

Customer: "4, 5."

Bank President: "Ella, slide your card and then put it in there. Mommy, when you get it, when I'm done putting money back on it you're going to give her one of these money and put it there with her card and give it back to her. Get ready."

Customer: "Mommy, wait! One more thing. This is how you lock it and this is how you unlock it."

Customer: "Now what am I supposed to do?"

Bank President: "Now you're supposed to get some of this money and put it in there but when I give you your card back you're going to put it there. Here you go. You need all these coins, too."

Banker: "So how much is in on the card now?"

Bank President: "I usually slide it and it then it goes $1000. And you know what? If you work at this bank you get a lot of money. Because it takes up all the money off of her card."

Banker: "So she deposits 5 coins and she gets $1000 on her card?"

Bank President: "Yeah. But then when she comes back, she just paid $1000 plus 5 equals $1005. We have $1005. And then she's going to come back and do a lot of other stuff. Ella, do you remember what to do when you're done by the front of the bank?"

Customer: "I know, go home."

Bank President: "No, come to this side. And bring your money."

Customer goes to the other side of the bank: "Hello."

Bank President: "Hi. Put sticks in here."

Customer: "Put sticks in here. Got it! How much sticks?"

Bank President: "All of them, remember?"

Customer: "Okay."

Bank President: "Can I have all of your cash? Except for what the banker gave you?"

Customer: "Okay."

Bank President: "Thank you."

Customer: "Wait! I want a sucker, please."

Bank President: "One sucker, coming up."

Customer: "Wait, I want to pick which one I want, remender? Cheese, orange." (The customer says remember like that - remender.)

Banker: "I think we only have rainbow."

Customer: "I want rainbow and cheese and red."

Bank President: "All we have is two more left. Would you like two?"

Customer: "Yes. No! I mean four!"

Bank President: "Sorry, we only have two. Since you are almost the one hundredth customer...." (Makes computer sounds) "Here! A $9 million dollar bill!"

Customer: "Cool!"

Bank President: "And that's really lucky. Because when you come back, you don't have to pay. Will you slide your card?"

Customer: "Okay, man."

Bank President: "Before the bank closes."

Customer: (Slides card) "Good-bye."

Bank President: "Oh! Would you like a toy? Look in here and you can pick."

Customer: (Picks a toy) "Okay. Goodbye sir."

Bank President: "Goodbye."

Could you keep up with all that? Because I barely could. When my kids are trying to explain something to me, and I say, "Okay" it usually means "What the heck did you just say? I have no idea what's going on here. Where am I?"

AND we had to do the whole thing 2 more times so that we could each be the customer.

My sweet, sweet children.

Chocolate Covered Strawberries

Did you know that Chocolate Covered Strawberries are so so so so so easy to make?

For some reason I always thought that they must be incredibly difficult and time-consuming and expensive to create. Oh, wait, I do know the reason - because they are ridiculously over-priced in those mall specialty shops. It's a classic case of "Over-price it and they will come." Oh, and I did! One hundred years ago I would save 3 weeks worth of minimum wage salary at Wet Seal just to enjoy a single specialty strawberry. Sure, it was worth it. But that was a hundred years ago. Things change. When I figured out how easy they are to make, it made me reevaluate my view of the world.

Anyway!

I don't even measure anymore. That's how easy they are to make. You can check out an official recipe here if you want to be all measury and stuff. One more thing, if you don't have vegetable shortening, go ahead and make them anyway. Lots of recipes call for the shortening, and lots of recipes don't. I think the strawberries turn out better with the shortening, but it's not a huge difference.

Here's what you need:

Strawberries

Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips

Vegetable Shortening

In review, just in case you missed it:

Strawberries:

Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips and Vegetable Shortening:

(I used Hershey's because it was on sale, but I usually use whatever cheap store brand I can get for cheap. Reevaluate the world. Cheap. It really doesn't matter. Cheap.)

Throw some chocolate chips in a microwave-safe bowl or cup and add a large spoonful of shortening:

Stick the cup in the microwave:

Most recipes will tell you to melt the chocolate chips over a double-boiler. I read that as "An extra dish to wash," so I don't do it.

VERY IMPORTANT! Don't over-heat the chocolate chips. If you do, the chocolate will seize and get lumpy and hard and you'll have to throw it away.

Turn on the microwave and watch. Check the chocolate chips every 30 seconds. When they look like this:

Take them out. Stir until they all melt into this deliciousness:

Dip your strawberries into the chocolate and place them on a wax paper-lined cookie sheet. Stick them in the fridge for as long as you can stand it:

Or until the chocolate cools and hardens - about 20 to 30 minutes.

Beautiful!

And, yes, I know you can make them all extra fancy by drizzling on white chocolate, blah blah blah. Let me just tell you about my Chocolate Covered Strawberries: See how mine are all fancy in a bowl? It's all a lie. I eat them right off the cookie sheet. As I stand in front of the open refrigerator. So I don't have to share them with my family.

Yep.