Wednesday, June 22, 2011

5 Things

1. Squirrel Bird Gets a Vase

I spent $2 on a Michaels' grab bag. I'd like to say that it was money well spent. But really it was money spent on a bunch of crap I gave immediately to Goodwill. So I guess it was like I donated $2 to charity. Do I get karma points for that? Probably not.

Anyway, one of the things inside the bag was this cute little vase. We'll call it the $2 vase, shall we?

I'm not the biggest fan of Words in the Home, if you know what I mean. So I primed it, painted it, used some leftover supplies from my Kitchen Memo Board to fancy it up a bit, and gave it to The Keeper of the Cook Books as a peace offering.

Everyone needs a little kitchen mascot! Mine just happens to be a fat little squirrel bird. I love him.

2. A Happy Meal Tradition.

Is it a tradition if this is only the second time I've done it? Anyway. My kids love Happy Meals. We very rarely go to McDonald's, maybe once every couple months, so Peyton and Ella think it's a super special treat.

So here's what I did. I packed Peyton a lunch, like usual, and sent him off to school. At lunch time, as his class walked out of the classroom to get their lunches, I was standing outside with a Happy Meal and a chocolate shake. When he saw me, I said, "You don't need your lunch box today, kid!" His face lit up and his friends gathered around, "You're so lucky!" "What toy did you get?" "So cool!" and he was a ROCK STAR! It was so awesome. His happiness totally made my day.

But here's where I'm really patting myself on the back. Before Peyton's lunchtime, Ella and I went to the McDonald's drive-thru and ordered two Happy Meals - plain hamburgers, french fries, chocolate shakes please, one is for a boy and one is for a girl, thank you very much. We paid for them, got them, and headed off toward Peyton's school. Halfway down the street I thought, maybe I should just double check the order. I looked inside the Happy Meal boxes and they had given me two girl toys. My heart races just thinking about it. Can you imagine? My son's friends all gathered around him and his Happy Meal to see what toy he got and he pulls out a freakin' Liv Doll? Instead of turning my kid into Rock Star For A Day, I could have doomed his whole educational career. The horror! Say goodbye to him having friends and play dates. Say goodbye to good grades and self-esteem. Say goodbye to college. Say hello to jobless 40-year-old son living in my basement. So we rushed back to McDonald's, exchanged the loser-making doll for some sort of Pokemon dragon thing, and still made it to Peyton's school by lunchtime. Score! I dodged a bullet on that one. Lesson learned. ALWAYS check the Happy Meal.

3. She's Hilarious:

4. Bad Words in 1st Grade

Peyton: "Gavyn, in my class, calls his brother bad words!"
Me: "Oh yeah? Like what?"
Peyton: "He calls him the F word and the ST word!"
Me: "Shut the front door! What?"
Peyton: "You know, Freak and Stupid."

Sweet sweet little sweet.

5. Rainbow Cake

I'm not a baker. I bake on occasion, but it kind of bores me. When I bake I feel trapped by the recipe because I'm supposed to add Exactly This Much of something and Mix the Dry Ingredients separately and Bake At This Magical Temperature. I think measuring is for sissies, I mix all the ingredients in the same damn bowl, and I don't like being bossed around by a 3 x 5 card with a picture of Fresh From The Oven Pies on it. I want to punch those pies in the face.

I like regular-non-baking-type cooking because once you get the basics of cooking down, you are totally the boss of whatever recipe comes your way. Recipe? I don't need no stinkin' recipe!

HOWEVER! I will be making THE Rainbow Cake to celebrate the last week of my kid's school. This Rainbow Cake had better look awesome because I've been planning on making it for months. I decided to make it for the end of school because that seemed so far away at the time. Now that far away time is tomorrow. You know when you feel like you need to do something just to say that you did?

Some random person will say, "Yeah, so, I'm going to make a Rainbow Cake for my kid's birthday."
And I'll lean back all nonchalant-like and flip my hair back without even using my hands and say, "Yeah, so, I totally already made one. Because I'm more awesome than you."

I'm pretty sure it's going to be exactly like that.

This Fantastical Rainbow Cake had better Rock. It. Out.

Squirrel Bird, lead the way!


Ali Richardson said...

U crack me up!!! Ha ha! Mmmmmmm cake.

Ali Richardson said...

Oh, and the vase is adorable ;)

~Barb~ said... this post. You had me giggling from the get-go. lol
Peace & Love,

4kidsgrandma said...

Please post pix of your Rainbow cake! Hey, is the "ST" word the samd as the "SH" word? I'm so proud that your kids will probably hear bad words at school long before they hear them from anyone in our family!

Lisa @ Turning Tables said...

Love the vase, LOVE the happy meal drop off, and I am SO in love with the idea of a rainbow cake! Yum! :) You will rock it out, for sure!!

Plavixo said...

I love your posts so much :D

Natalie said...

Oh I am just in love with your blog!! You're hysterical, your pictures are amazing and great content! I'm so glad you commented on my blog so I can nosey around and discover you!

Mommafo said...

You're awesome. You inspire me to get back to my roots as a funny person. And thank you for the drunk kitchen link, I have never laughed so hard in my life.
(ps- the rainbow cake rocked, and the toothfairy door is cute as hell. i read through my google reader {new discovery for me! [hey look, triple parenthesies]} and I can't freaking comment unless I click through. ugh.)


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